Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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