So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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