its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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