Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
