Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
