Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
