Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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