He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
