You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
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i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I party with great urgency now.
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