Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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