Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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