i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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