Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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