I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
