What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
