Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
