You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
