do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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