The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
