Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
