there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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