thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
