Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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