my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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