WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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