I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize