I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
