I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize