The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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