Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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