dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
