I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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