I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
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I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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