Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
