I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
