I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
