we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
