I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
