Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
