It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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