she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
two words...techno handjob
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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