I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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