took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
