Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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