New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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