when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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