Swine flu. Run for my life!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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