shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
