Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
