how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
