just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
