I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
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candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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