Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
