i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
