Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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