let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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