His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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