it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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