Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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