It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
