youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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