I didn't shave. On purpose
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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